convince windows not to torture me with windows 10 very-wrong No-Internet error message

You need to Disable Active Internet Probing (NCSI) in Windows

If you do not want Windows to probe the Microsoft server every time you connect to a network, then you can easily disable it using the following steps:

1. Press the Win+R hotkey to bring up the Windows’ Run dialog. In the Run dialog, type regedit and press Enter. This will open the Windows Registry Editor.
2. In the Windows Registry Editor window, navigate to

   HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\SYSTEM\CurrentControlSet\Services\NlaSvc\Parameters\Internet

3. Find the value named EnableActiveProbing, double-click on it and change its value from 1 to 0.
4. Close the Windows Registry Editor. Try reconnecting to the internet (by replugging the ethernet cable or restarting the router). Now Windows will no longer probe Microsoft NCSI servers.
   
   extracted from this article below
   https://www.trishtech.com/2015/07/disable-active-internet-probing-ncsi-in-windows/